Last Shabbat morning, we discussed the theology of Unetaneh Tokef, the prayer on the High Holidays where we picture God reading from the book of our lives and deciding for the next year "who shall live and who shall die." We talked about how difficult it is to say that prayer, and put on the table other ways of viewing God.
Here are two rewritings of different parts of that prayer. The first is excerpted from Rabbi Jules Harlow (with slight gender modifications), editor of the Machzor we use at Temple Beth Abraham. The second one I wrote.
ALTERNATIVE 1
When we really begin a new year it is decided, and when we actually repent it is determined.
Who shall be truly alive, and who shall merely exist
Who shall be happy, and who shall be miserable
Who shall attain fulfillment and who shall not attain fulfillment
Who shall be tormented by the fire of ambition
And whose hopes shall be quenched by the waters of failure
Who shall hunger for companionship
And who shall thirst for approval
Who shall be pierced by the sword of envy
And who shall be torn by the wild beast of resentment
Who shall be shattered by the earthquake of social change
And who shall be plagued by the pressures of conformity
Who shall be strangled by insecurity
And who shall be stoned into submission
But teshuvah, tefillah, and tzedakah have the power to change the character of our lives.
So let us resolve to repent, to pray, and to do good deeds so that we may begin a truly new year.
ALTERNATIVE 2
I close my eyes and see a throne
King
Face too bright to glance at
Voice too loud to hear
I look again -- whose face is that, my own?
I approach
See the king writing in a book
He studies each word, affixes his signature
Beckons to me
I hold out my hand, take the book
As I open it, a melody swirls around me
My own voice singing, through the mouth of the king.
Thunder shakes the palace -- was it my voice?
I read, I weep, I blink
I hear a sob -- the king!
My eyes are distracted by light
reflecting off shackles on the arms of the king.
Free me! -- was that my voice, or his?
Write! calls the king.
--But what shall I write?
Write what will happen.
--But what will happen?
I begin to write, uncertainly
The king's shackles grow tighter, looser, tighter...
I write: Repentance, prayer, righteousness
And the king breaks free
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